friends for baby A

Thing #793 I didn't know about being pregnant: I didn't know how excited I would get about other people having babies. Sure babies are always exciting - cute little balls of dough that looks like Winston Churchill and smell like divinity (most of the time). But it's a way bigger deal to find out that people are pregnant when you're pregnant. I'm not sure if it's because I'm excited about the shared experience (Your ankles are swollen? MINE TOO!!!) or the thought that we'll be going through most of the same things at the same time for the next two decades plus (Your daughter is kissing boys on the playground? MINE TOO!!!). Or maybe it's just the imaginary friendships I picture our little ones having - as surely they'll be as cool as their parents (who we love). Either way, it's exciting. And we've had a lot to be excited about lately. 

This is a tale about a baby boom. Sure they say these things come in cycles. It seemed like everyone got engaged in an 18 month period. Then clusters of people started getting married, buying houses, etc. So it's not rocket science that the little ones would start a'comin. But I didn't exactly expect this magnitude. It really all started when super cool Shane and Karen Matlock had an "oops" experience last February. In March, Adam and Christy had a surprise of their own - and in May, Doug and I completed the trifecta with our surprise blessing (we really should start calling ourselves the Fellowship of the Nuvaring... either that or initiate local classes instructing people on how exactly birth control works, since clearly it gets confusing around here...). Then Peter and Patty Wyngaard got pregnant three weeks after we did... then Jake and Kristin Seward and Katherine and Richard Wintsch. All of us due between November and June. Avalanche of babies. 

The cutie pictured above is the first to be delivered (Kayden Matlock and Avery's future BFF). Shane and Karen had her in Lille, where they moved this summer. Our plan is to pack up baby A and trek her over the Atlantic next summer so Kayden and Avery can romp around France in baby berets. I think it's a totally brilliant plan:-) 

The Namesake

The other day I ran into a woman I work with who is 8 months pregnant. She's having a boy (her 4th!) and we started talking about baby names - or specifically their inspiration. She said she had a baby name she loved, but that it was inspired by a soap star - and knowing that her husband wouldn't approve of a baby named for a day time television character (who would?), she found a literary character with the same name and said that was her inspiration. Sneaky, but brilliant...

It got me thinking about Baby Avery's name inspiration. There's no real magical story. I've liked the name for a long time. It's not super common (...nor does it sound like something we made up by throwing random syllables together... though we did play that game over the 4th of July. I would think of a syllable and Doug would think of a syllable and each of us would throw one out to see what baby names we came up with. Among the favorites were clee-boo and dron-us. That's how a lot of people name their kids these days, right?...) and frankly Avery was the only one we could agree on. I really loved Harper (To Kill a Mocking Bird), Bella (short for Isabella) and Darcy (for Jane Austen), but Doug wasn't a big fan of any of those. I heard the name Kennedy for a girl the other day and thought it was kind of awesome, but of course, we're settled now. And I'm rambling. Back to the point of my story...

When I told my mom we were thinking about naming our girl Avery, she said, "Oh I love that name! Except for that terrible woman in Jerry Maguire." She was, of course, referring to Kelly Preston's character in the '96 Cameron Crowe movie. For those of you who don't remember that iconic Avery, she was Jerry's fiance for the first few acts. Smart, talented, ambitious and beautiful, when he loses his clients she gives a pretty famous speech:

"There is a sensitivity thing that some people have... I don't have it. I don't cry at movies. I don't gush over babies. I don't start celebrating Christmas five months early and I don't tell a man who just screwed up both our lives 'oh, poor baby.' That's me, for better or for worse. But I do love you..."

In many people's minds (including my mother's) this lack of sensitivity was paramount to being a sociopath - certainly not characteristics one would want for one's child. But truth be told, that character is like my own version of Tara's secret soap star. I loved her. I loved her unabashed authenticity. I love that rather than being destroyed when a guy broke up with her, she hauled off and hit him (this is probably revealing a lot of latent feminism leaking through - or anger issues - I'm not exactly sure...). I loved that she was strong and independent - and as someone who DOES cry at movies, start celebrating Christmas early and has always wanted to punch an ex-boyfriend or two - I was envious of those things. And that admiration kind of stuck with me over the past 12 or so years (eesh I'm getting old). You'd better believe her talent and tenacity were on my mind when I threw out the name.

So, when my grandparents asked about our baby's name I gave them the official company line: Avery means 'wise counselor' - and I do hope she's wise. I also hope she's capable of a healthier relationship than Kelly Preston's character. But if a boy ever breaks her heart, I'm okay with her leaving him limping away in pain rather than the other way around... Just between you, me and the internet...

rockabye baby

Alright prospective parents. In case you've been dreading the idea of having to learn the words to "wheels on the bus" and "the farmer in the dell" - I have recently learned that there is a fabulous alternative. My BF Lauren found this cd series called Rockabye Baby (www.rockabyebabymusic.com). She bought us lullabye renditions of u2 and coldplay, but they also have the beatles, rolling stones, nirvana, etc. etc. etc. They instrumental lullabies are just what baby music should be - sweet, melodic and sleep inducing. And now Doug and I have full confidence baby A will have good music planted into her little brain early on. Gotta love that:-) Thanks aunt Lauren!

Prego Business Cas

Seven months ago my definition of "business casual" involved a cute skirt from anthropologie, some sort of blazer from banana, some funky heels and jewelry. I'm no Rachel Zoe, but when the occasion arose, I could clean up with the best of them. Entering my third trimester, that's not so much the case. I lost the ability to wear anything from my beloved anthopologie around month 4 (or at least I'm not spending Anthro money on gear I hope to never fit into again post baby), around month 5 my shoes stopped fitting. And last week I went on a business trip wearing black Liz Lang maternity pants, converse all stars and assorted layers of spandex and stretch cotton. This is the new business casual. I'm sure I didn't look at slummy as I felt, but I was utterly depressed by the options before me when I looked in my closet at 4am before my flight. Sure, there are "businessy" maternity clothes that probably would have been an improvement, but for someone who has always taken such delight in fashion... arranging pieces in unexpected combinations to express some sort of feminine communique, pairing full panel pants and whatever sneaker-ish shoes my Professor Klump feet with cooperate their way into is utterly depressing. 

I know this all sound like vanity (sounds like?), but it's worth mentioning how far I've fallen where one of my favorite pastimes is concerned. This is definite motivation to work out starting in March. 

A new dawn, a new day.

It's truly ironic that I haven't blogged about the election until now. While both the pregnancy and the presidential race have been a big part of life in recent months (though obviously not quite equal in personal weight:), until this week I saw them as two simultaneous, if unrelated happenings. 

Sure, people vote for the future and therefore for their kids. But being so new to all of this, I've been more focused on the single moms who can't make ends meet and the kids in sub-par schools than I have the implications of this race for my own little girl. 

That is, until Tuesday. For weeks now, I've been talking about the issues with friends. I've been inspired by President Elect Obama's words and I've taken them to heart. In recent weeks I've hit the campaign trail, knocking on doors, making phone calls and lending what time, talent (and money) I have to helping secure the change we need. It overlapped with my pregnancy when I was tired from canvassing and my feet were swollen from hours spent getting out the vote. But I still wasn't connecting the dots.

On Tuesday morning, it all became very real to me. I got up at 5:45am and stood in line for nearly two hours to vote. While it was early (and cold and raining) I was surrounded by my friends and neighbors, who had also braved the early morning hours to cast one of the first votes in this historic election. And as I stood there, I felt blessed by the sense of community and the significance of that day. I realized that Avery was there with me, and that one day I would tell her that we got up early and stood in the rain to vote for President Obama. I realized I would tell her that she was part of making it happen, going with me through inner-city neighbors and helping to educate first time voters on how to exercise their God-given right to use the power of their voice to change things. She will be born into a family and into a world where hope has triumphed over fear once again. 

While we were canvassing, we met an elderly black woman who told us that when she was young she wasn't allowed to go to school with white children. And now, decades later she was casting her vote for the first African American president. I was moved by her hopefulness and overcome when I realized that my daughter will be born into a world where a child of any color or background can achieve that ultimate dream. I hope that she won't understand racism, for she'll only have known the way things are. And I hope the way things are will continue to improve. 

Suddenly I realized the significance of all this for her. And I was overwhelmingly grateful for the gift she (and all children) has been given.