Okay, according to babyfit.com, I should be gaining weight by now (thank God there's an excuse:-), but no baby bump just yet. It's expected to be an emotional phase, "a time when you may not feel as excited about your pregnancy as you think you should. Not to worry. This is normal!" Okay, two things to address here...
I'm really hesitant to blame anything on being emotional because of the pregnancy because I feel like the second I do my husband has license to write off anything and everything as "oh you're just pregnant." I might be mad about something totally legit and get the "crazy pregnant girl" reaction. So I'm keeping the news that "it's an emotional time" close to the vest. I think that's a totally brilliant plan. Might be hard to keep going for long given the fact that I had a complete and utter emo breakdown last week when my flight was delayed (I think I sobbed, "why is this happening to me?" at one point:-), but we'll keep that news under wraps as long as possible.
Now for the less than excited part. I wouldn't say that I'm less than excited. I'm definitely excited. Looking forward to February. Feeling incredibly blessed that God would think I'd be up to such a challenge. But it still feels a little surreal. Seeing the baby's picture helped. Watching the little white light (the baby's heartbeat) flash brightly at a frenetic pace made it feel more real. Telling people made it feel real. But I guess it's inching towards real. I have yet to feel that "I'm a mom" feeling and I'm interested to hear when that happens. I've known people who made a conscientious decision, "We're ready to be parents now. Let's have a baby" and for them I imagine that the second they find out their pregnant their on the road to their chosen destiny of mommyhood. When it's a surprise it feels a little more like you've been drafted, but have yet to report for duty. Is that bad?
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