There's lots to love about the French. Yummy pastries, fantastic art, great wine and killer skiing. But who knew they also have fabulous baby clothes? Our friends Shane and Karen sent us a great little outfit for Avery from Lille - replete with velvet pants and a purple rugby stripe baby poncho. It's a little big for her just yet, so we'll have to post pix of her in it when she's 9 months old and can wear it. But trust me, it's divine. Quite sophisticated for petite person apparel. Leave it to the French to pair great style and with layette. Plus, when someone asks where it's from we can say France. Can't really beat that:-) 

Great Expectations

My mother thought the concept of a push present was hilarious. I think our friend Jake found it slightly appalling. I thought it was rather expected. Maybe this is a generational thing, but to me it makes perfect sense (after seeing so many of my close friends go through the experience of pregnancy and birth over the past couple of years) that after almost a year of toiling, growing, aching, pushing and the requisite stretch marks a little gift is in order. 

That said, I didn't want anything extravagant. After all, we've just spent a small fortune preparing for this blessed event and will spend the next 12 weeks (and 20+ years) playing financial catch up as our disposable income goes to daycare and diapers, 529 plans, preschool, tennis lessons, prom dresses, ridiculously expensive auto insurance and so on and so forth. Who can think about jewelry?:-)

My husband can, evidently. On our last pre-baby date night, as we sat rocking on the porch at the Linden Row Inn looking at the sky on a beautiful starry night, he handed me a little blue box. (I never tire of the little blue box. It could have fossilized dinosaur dung behind that white ribbon and I would still think it was magic. Way to brand magic Tiffany). Inside the robin egg box was a tiny envelope with a tiny note that said:

First we had each other.

Then we had Avery.

Now, we have everything.

Tears followed, as I unwrapped a beautiful necklace with a delicate A - a tender reminder of our daughter. I can't wear it, of course, until she's actually arrived. But I know it's something I'll cherish eternally nonetheless. All in all, I'm a very, very lucky girl.

 

flux and trust

It's 4am. 4:06am technically, but I've been up since 3:35 or so. Waking up at this hour is utterly unsurprising. In God's grand design, I've become accustomed to waking every 2-2.5 hours in the middle of the night, with increasing frequency over the past 10 months. So at this point, the girl who formerly slept 8-9 uninterrupted hours upon penalty of extreme crankiness has become entirely functional at short intervals. I have to imagine this is by design. But normally, I can go back to sleep after a trip to the bathroom or an effortful roll over. Not tonight. This is, after all, quite possibly my last normal night. Tomorrow at 3:30p my ob will do a procedure called cervical ripening, designed to get my body to start dilating on it's own. Then at 6am on Thursday (or approximately 26 hours from now) I'll head into the hospital for induction. One would hope I would relish this last little bit of sleep. But rather, I'm up in the wee hours of the morning thinking about everything that's about to change.

In 26 hours nothing will ever be the same. Granted, that's been true for a while. From the moment I saw the word "pregnant" on a plastic stick (in a bathroom at a beach house roughly 40 weeks ago) I've known everything was going to change. Operative words "going to." And in many ways they already have. Who would have guessed on that humid summer day that I would learn (or actually care) about things like breastfeeding, cord care and tummy time? Or that Doug and I would trade in our vacation fund (bye bye Costa Rica 08) for nursery furniture? Or that I would find a bugaboo stroller the single most exciting thing since my Monique Lhuillier wedding dress? Yes, my friends - change is not upon us. Change has already come. 

But I ain't seen nothing yet. It's an interesting season. I haven't spent that much time anticipating or trying to really envisage what life would be like, as I've been keenly aware that it's an impossible task. I think I'm used to little uninterrupted sleep? I ain't seen nothing yet. I think I've become accustomed to misplacing my car keys (my laptop cord, my ever-loving mind)? Child's play for what's to come. Yet here I am at 4am - on the precipice of the earth's plates shifting and I find myself wondering what life will look like a few short hours from now. So much for my last restful night of sleep.

I've been told that I'll adore Avery more than I could possibly anticipate. That I will understand new depths of love and understand new dimensions of myself. What will that look like? I've been told my relationship with Doug (for good and for ill) will never be the same. Will he be able to see me as a sexual being after an experience like childbirth? Will I bite his head off repeatedly over the next six weeks over things like taking out trash pails that smell like diapers? The things I've been meaning to do for the past year, but haven't gotten to (like having our shower curtain monogrammed) - is there a snowball's chance in hell those things will EVER happen now?

My questions range from petty to profound, yet they are all perplexing and intriguing nonetheless. I guess I rambling at this point. Just wanted to share all that's swirling in my head.

A fabulous pre-baby night on the town.

On Friday afternoon (the day before Valentine's Day, two days before miss Avery was due) I came home from work to find Douglas packing the manwagon with our hospital bag, the stroller and my snoogle. He confiscated my laptop and iPhone and we jumped in the car for a surprise prebaby evening on the town. He booked us a room in an historic B&B downtown, then we saw an Oscar contender at The Westhampton Theater and had dinner at Edo Squid. All in all, an amazing (and thoughtful) evening out - just the two of us.

When we got back to the inn, we sat on the porch off our room where Douglas smoked a celebratory cigar and we talked about what life would be like with a baby while we drink the left over Chianti on the unseasonably warm February evening (don't worry - just a single glass for me). But my favorite surprise of the evening? My push present:-). Of course, I can't wear it until after Avery is born, so more to come on that.

All that is to share that it was an incredible surprise from my incredible husband. The only thing more exciting than our romantic night together is the thought of what a great dad he is going to be. I'm sure that won't be our last date night by any stretch, but it was a nice way to spend our last weekend before Avery is born. 

Avery Girl

We decided that instead of the traditional baby dedication, we're going to throw a big party for Avery in the spring. Doug will still do a mini-teaching and of course there will be music and the other components usually involved when consecrating a baby both to God and to His community. But there will also be a cookout and probably a beer or two (not for me or the baby, for the boys). 

And part of that plan is to have a friend of ours sing the little one a song Doug and I both love and want dedicated to her. Okay, so we changed the name in the song - but we think Ben Folds will understand. So with no further ado, our song for Avery.

"Avery"

You can't fool me, I saw you when you came out

You got your momma's taste, but you got my mouth

And you will always have a part of me

Nobody else is every going to see

Avery girl

With your cards to your chest walking on your toes

What you got in the box only Avery knows

And I would never try to make you be

Anything you didn't really want to be

Avery girl

Life flies by in seconds

You're not a baby, Avery you're my friend

You'll be a lady soon but until then

You gotta do what I say

You nodded off in my arms watching TV

I won't move you an inch even though my arm's asleep

One day you're gonna want to go

I hope we taught you everything you need to know

Avery girl

And there will always be a part of me

Nobody else is ever gonna see but you and me

My little girl

My Avery girl

Holy Snoogle!

Why in the world am I so stubborn? Perhaps its because the woman on the package was wearing footie pajamas as an adult. Perhaps it was because the thing looks ridiculous. Or because I thought myself far too practical to buy a curly q pillow that was surely no more effective than just strategically aligning 3-4 regular pillows at night. Or because I thought $52.99 was better spent elsewhere (like dinner out with Douglas or a cute post-maternity skirt for when I get my ankles back).

Whatever my reasons, I went approximately 39 weeks without a body pilllow. People really started recommending i get one in the past month or so when I started showing up to work looking like death warmed over because I make approximately 3 bathroom trips in the middle of the night, plus the obligatory wake up, role over, readjust and go back to sleep another 3-4 times a night. This is not to mention the pathetic cat-like moaning sounds I've been making. Doug said I sound like a house pet that's been hit by a moving car. Clearly my overly pregnant body and sleep seemed incompatible. 

But no0o0o0o0o... I only have 4 weeks to go... 3 weeks... 2 weeks... 1 week and finally I couldn't take it anymore. With only one week until my due date I broke down (so much for will power!) and bought the stupid pillow. Only it's not a stupid pillow. It's a miracle pillow. Silly Elizabeth. I'm officially buying one for every good friend who gets pregnant from now on. Yes, an expensive congratulatory gift, but can you really put too high a premium on a decent night's prenatal sleep? I'd say no... no you cannot:-) 

30% say WHA....?!?!?!?

I read a poll in Parenting Magazine last weekend that asked a rather provocative question. Readers, would you would be willing to breastfeed another person's child? Unsurprisingly, the majority of moms said no. But slightly more surprising? Roughly a third said YES! Now, maybe it's because I'm a baby neophyte, but I wouldn't have guessed that was appropriate under any circumstances short of apocalyptic conditions. Yet almost one out of three women said they would. Does anyone else find that somewhat disconcerting? 

I can't imagine this is part of the "mom bonding" I hear so much about...:-/

Righteous Indignation? Or hormonal surge?

I would say, for the record, that I don't think I've been all that moody or emotional since getting pregnant. Sure, there's been the occasional melt down. I definitely started crying one day on vacation for no apparent reason. And there have been a few times when I've finished blowing my top only to look at Doug's curious eyes and realize that I totally over-reacted. But a hand full of those over the better part of a year isn't that bad... right?

Or am I totally incapable of gauging? It occurred me to the other day that I once met a woman at about seven months a long and thought she was totally difficult, overly sensitive, territorial, reactive and generally annoying. She had a baby, and came back the nicest person in the world. Total 180. Our friend Josh told us on New Year's Eve that after his wife had their first baby she "mean for an entire year." An entire year! And she acknowledged it now, but at the time I bet she didn't think she was being mean. At the time the mystery prego-terror was making my life difficult I bet she didn't think she was mean. So maybe I'm crazy mean and I'm just unaware? Maybe I'm like The Hulk. Or some emotional amnesiac who turns into a green monster and then loses all sense of self-awareness or perspective, than comes to completely chill on the other side?

Let's hope for Doug and Avery's sake that even if I am a mean pregnant woman (unbeknownst to me) I return to normal shortly after labor. One can hope:-)

The charm of being consistently inconsistent

I know, i know. It's been almost two months since my last blog post. That's only slightly better than Doug, who jump started his blog again this week after not writing for a quarter of a year. 

The most consistent thing about the two of us is our inconsistency. Which is ironic, given that we keep hearing about how important consistency is in parenting. Babies need schedules, kids need boundaries, etc. I'm sure I'll buy a bunch of books on the topic only to read the first 60 pages. Or better yet, I'll read the books in their entirety, come up with a plan on how to implement consistency into our lives/parenting, etc. and then fail to follow through on day one. 

Any advice for us chaos loving parents to be?

friends for baby A

Thing #793 I didn't know about being pregnant: I didn't know how excited I would get about other people having babies. Sure babies are always exciting - cute little balls of dough that looks like Winston Churchill and smell like divinity (most of the time). But it's a way bigger deal to find out that people are pregnant when you're pregnant. I'm not sure if it's because I'm excited about the shared experience (Your ankles are swollen? MINE TOO!!!) or the thought that we'll be going through most of the same things at the same time for the next two decades plus (Your daughter is kissing boys on the playground? MINE TOO!!!). Or maybe it's just the imaginary friendships I picture our little ones having - as surely they'll be as cool as their parents (who we love). Either way, it's exciting. And we've had a lot to be excited about lately. 

This is a tale about a baby boom. Sure they say these things come in cycles. It seemed like everyone got engaged in an 18 month period. Then clusters of people started getting married, buying houses, etc. So it's not rocket science that the little ones would start a'comin. But I didn't exactly expect this magnitude. It really all started when super cool Shane and Karen Matlock had an "oops" experience last February. In March, Adam and Christy had a surprise of their own - and in May, Doug and I completed the trifecta with our surprise blessing (we really should start calling ourselves the Fellowship of the Nuvaring... either that or initiate local classes instructing people on how exactly birth control works, since clearly it gets confusing around here...). Then Peter and Patty Wyngaard got pregnant three weeks after we did... then Jake and Kristin Seward and Katherine and Richard Wintsch. All of us due between November and June. Avalanche of babies. 

The cutie pictured above is the first to be delivered (Kayden Matlock and Avery's future BFF). Shane and Karen had her in Lille, where they moved this summer. Our plan is to pack up baby A and trek her over the Atlantic next summer so Kayden and Avery can romp around France in baby berets. I think it's a totally brilliant plan:-) 

The Namesake

The other day I ran into a woman I work with who is 8 months pregnant. She's having a boy (her 4th!) and we started talking about baby names - or specifically their inspiration. She said she had a baby name she loved, but that it was inspired by a soap star - and knowing that her husband wouldn't approve of a baby named for a day time television character (who would?), she found a literary character with the same name and said that was her inspiration. Sneaky, but brilliant...

It got me thinking about Baby Avery's name inspiration. There's no real magical story. I've liked the name for a long time. It's not super common (...nor does it sound like something we made up by throwing random syllables together... though we did play that game over the 4th of July. I would think of a syllable and Doug would think of a syllable and each of us would throw one out to see what baby names we came up with. Among the favorites were clee-boo and dron-us. That's how a lot of people name their kids these days, right?...) and frankly Avery was the only one we could agree on. I really loved Harper (To Kill a Mocking Bird), Bella (short for Isabella) and Darcy (for Jane Austen), but Doug wasn't a big fan of any of those. I heard the name Kennedy for a girl the other day and thought it was kind of awesome, but of course, we're settled now. And I'm rambling. Back to the point of my story...

When I told my mom we were thinking about naming our girl Avery, she said, "Oh I love that name! Except for that terrible woman in Jerry Maguire." She was, of course, referring to Kelly Preston's character in the '96 Cameron Crowe movie. For those of you who don't remember that iconic Avery, she was Jerry's fiance for the first few acts. Smart, talented, ambitious and beautiful, when he loses his clients she gives a pretty famous speech:

"There is a sensitivity thing that some people have... I don't have it. I don't cry at movies. I don't gush over babies. I don't start celebrating Christmas five months early and I don't tell a man who just screwed up both our lives 'oh, poor baby.' That's me, for better or for worse. But I do love you..."

In many people's minds (including my mother's) this lack of sensitivity was paramount to being a sociopath - certainly not characteristics one would want for one's child. But truth be told, that character is like my own version of Tara's secret soap star. I loved her. I loved her unabashed authenticity. I love that rather than being destroyed when a guy broke up with her, she hauled off and hit him (this is probably revealing a lot of latent feminism leaking through - or anger issues - I'm not exactly sure...). I loved that she was strong and independent - and as someone who DOES cry at movies, start celebrating Christmas early and has always wanted to punch an ex-boyfriend or two - I was envious of those things. And that admiration kind of stuck with me over the past 12 or so years (eesh I'm getting old). You'd better believe her talent and tenacity were on my mind when I threw out the name.

So, when my grandparents asked about our baby's name I gave them the official company line: Avery means 'wise counselor' - and I do hope she's wise. I also hope she's capable of a healthier relationship than Kelly Preston's character. But if a boy ever breaks her heart, I'm okay with her leaving him limping away in pain rather than the other way around... Just between you, me and the internet...

rockabye baby

Alright prospective parents. In case you've been dreading the idea of having to learn the words to "wheels on the bus" and "the farmer in the dell" - I have recently learned that there is a fabulous alternative. My BF Lauren found this cd series called Rockabye Baby (www.rockabyebabymusic.com). She bought us lullabye renditions of u2 and coldplay, but they also have the beatles, rolling stones, nirvana, etc. etc. etc. They instrumental lullabies are just what baby music should be - sweet, melodic and sleep inducing. And now Doug and I have full confidence baby A will have good music planted into her little brain early on. Gotta love that:-) Thanks aunt Lauren!

Prego Business Cas

Seven months ago my definition of "business casual" involved a cute skirt from anthropologie, some sort of blazer from banana, some funky heels and jewelry. I'm no Rachel Zoe, but when the occasion arose, I could clean up with the best of them. Entering my third trimester, that's not so much the case. I lost the ability to wear anything from my beloved anthopologie around month 4 (or at least I'm not spending Anthro money on gear I hope to never fit into again post baby), around month 5 my shoes stopped fitting. And last week I went on a business trip wearing black Liz Lang maternity pants, converse all stars and assorted layers of spandex and stretch cotton. This is the new business casual. I'm sure I didn't look at slummy as I felt, but I was utterly depressed by the options before me when I looked in my closet at 4am before my flight. Sure, there are "businessy" maternity clothes that probably would have been an improvement, but for someone who has always taken such delight in fashion... arranging pieces in unexpected combinations to express some sort of feminine communique, pairing full panel pants and whatever sneaker-ish shoes my Professor Klump feet with cooperate their way into is utterly depressing. 

I know this all sound like vanity (sounds like?), but it's worth mentioning how far I've fallen where one of my favorite pastimes is concerned. This is definite motivation to work out starting in March. 

A new dawn, a new day.

It's truly ironic that I haven't blogged about the election until now. While both the pregnancy and the presidential race have been a big part of life in recent months (though obviously not quite equal in personal weight:), until this week I saw them as two simultaneous, if unrelated happenings. 

Sure, people vote for the future and therefore for their kids. But being so new to all of this, I've been more focused on the single moms who can't make ends meet and the kids in sub-par schools than I have the implications of this race for my own little girl. 

That is, until Tuesday. For weeks now, I've been talking about the issues with friends. I've been inspired by President Elect Obama's words and I've taken them to heart. In recent weeks I've hit the campaign trail, knocking on doors, making phone calls and lending what time, talent (and money) I have to helping secure the change we need. It overlapped with my pregnancy when I was tired from canvassing and my feet were swollen from hours spent getting out the vote. But I still wasn't connecting the dots.

On Tuesday morning, it all became very real to me. I got up at 5:45am and stood in line for nearly two hours to vote. While it was early (and cold and raining) I was surrounded by my friends and neighbors, who had also braved the early morning hours to cast one of the first votes in this historic election. And as I stood there, I felt blessed by the sense of community and the significance of that day. I realized that Avery was there with me, and that one day I would tell her that we got up early and stood in the rain to vote for President Obama. I realized I would tell her that she was part of making it happen, going with me through inner-city neighbors and helping to educate first time voters on how to exercise their God-given right to use the power of their voice to change things. She will be born into a family and into a world where hope has triumphed over fear once again. 

While we were canvassing, we met an elderly black woman who told us that when she was young she wasn't allowed to go to school with white children. And now, decades later she was casting her vote for the first African American president. I was moved by her hopefulness and overcome when I realized that my daughter will be born into a world where a child of any color or background can achieve that ultimate dream. I hope that she won't understand racism, for she'll only have known the way things are. And I hope the way things are will continue to improve. 

Suddenly I realized the significance of all this for her. And I was overwhelmingly grateful for the gift she (and all children) has been given. 

Breastpumps... life savers or torture devices?

I confess... I'm kind of grossed out by the idea of breast feeding. In fact, I'm probably more intimidated at the thought of breast feeding than I am of the delivery itself. I'll be drugged for the actual delivery and if I'm lucky it'll be morphine fogged one time event, verses a daily experience. And from what I've heard, it hurts.

That said, I fully intend to do it. I wish I could say I plan to breast feed because it's the right thing to do... or because it's better for the baby nutritionally... or because it will facilitate bonding. Nope. I'm going to breast feed because it saves money and burns like 600 calories a day. 600 calories! Done and done. 

Not that I'm looking forward to it. I've been trying not to think about it... until I went to register the other day. I started by just registering for things I wanted - like nursery or a bugaboo. But in browsing the list I stumbled across a breast pump and realized that it was going to have a big part of my future (shudder). So it's there... and God they're expensive. (I'll take this moment to note that I don't think it's expensive when people spend $900 on a stroller that looks good and is exciting, but the thought of spending a third of that on a breast pump is utterly depressing to me.)

All this is preface to an email I got from a friend today, which only confirmed my worst weirded-out fears. But at least it made me laugh.

"Believe me, we didn't know what the heck we were doing when we first registered and I only learned the crucial items at 12am, when I didn't have it. Like when I had to send Todd on an emergency trip to Target to get a breast pump because my boobs wouldn't turn off and I thought the earth was going to flood again, this time with breast milk..."

So that's what I have to look forward to.

yaaaaaaaaaaay....

Designing the perfect baby lair...

Avery's nursery has literally been keeping me up at night. Granted, this has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a rabid design junkie. I spent the first five months of my pregnancy scouring sites like modernnursery.com, fawnandforest.com, 2modern.com, etc. Plus the more traditional favorites like potterybarnkids.com and landofnod.com. After 16 weeks of gestating (and obsessing about the nursery) I came to the conclusion that I could never take a design out of a url and put it in my house. I needed to design something custom for our girl that would be unlike anything else I'd seen. 

This led to phase two of my search: choosing a color palette and furniture. To be followed by phase three (which I'm in now): choosing the art and details to pull it all together. Clearly, I'm not there yet. But I'll tell you how far I've gotten so far. The color palette is as follows:

Brown

Lime

White

Lavender

Namely, the walls are lavender. The furniture is mahogany and the bedding will be simple, brown and white. Decorative accents (like the lamp below) will serve as pops of lime to accent. Below I've included the furniture, including the rocker and the upholstery we're having it covered in. Next step is art, so stay tuned.

(*note, the bedding pictured on the crib is not what we're going with. no pink, not even a little:-)

The law of averages...

(Note: Doug and I were Juno and Paulie Bleaker for Halloween this year. Felt right.)

I've never been someone who considers myself average. For better or for worse, I've always thought that there are some things that I'm better at than most (vocabulary, for example) and some things I'm worse at than most (like restraint). I found a career I love at a relatively young age (above average), but am terribly undisciplined (below average). And while not ideal, this life of extremes has always worked quite well for me (though not always for my wallet or my waistline).

So imagine my surprise to find out that when it comes to first time motherhood, I am, in fact, the portrait of average. 

As I posted when I first learned I was expecting, I feel entirely too young to have a baby. I realize rationally that that's probably not entirely true - but we certainly seem young. We've only been married for two years and we're not all that responsible. After all, Doug still can't remember to return videos to blockbuster and I generally do laundry when we've run out of clean underwear. We eat meals at home approximately twice a month - not exactly the portrait of stable family life. When I first told my best friend I was expecting, I felt a little bit like Juno calling her BFF on her hamburger phone.  

Six months later I've gotten used to the idea, settled into making plans and gotten really excited about meeting this amazing little girl. Still, as I clumsily plod along the road to parenthood, not much about it seems average. (Besides the pregnancy, which has gone like clockwork, thank God.) So imagine my surprise to learn...

• The average of a 1st time American mom is 27.
  
• The average mom expects to have 2.7 kids.*
  
• The average couple spends over $13k on baby during the first year... lets just say that we're well on our way.
  
• The average new mom plans for a babymoon and a push present (check, check).
• The average new mom (or at least the majority) plans to work after having kids.

* Note that I'm rooting for 3 kids and Doug wants 2. I'm a little more persuasive than he is, so I'm guessing 2.7 bambinos is the average we're leaning towards at the moment.

So in fact, I'm not so special and not so unique after all. Not quite sure whether I should find that comforting or frightening. Maybe everyone goes through a freaked out cycle of 'am I really capable of doing this well?' before baby is born. Maybe no one feels adequate, or old enough. Maybe.

Since I've been a super slacker mom... our girl's first pix.

Avery Grace Paul 

at 9 weeks...

at 13 weeks...

also at 13 weeks... 

(this one in a frame since it was the first time we could see her little face)

at 22 weeks...

Mom idols...

In generations past (I've heard) that women sought to do everything they way their mothers did. If she cooked, you would cook. If she upheld tradition, you upheld tradition. Who knows to what extent this is true (part of me feels like every generation of daughters has reinvented motherhood in new and interesting ways), but I feel like we're more apt to break with our own mothers' ways of doing things than in generations past. 

So much of what I read about Millennial moms deals with the idea of blending everything... time (work life and home life are blurred), roles (egalitarianism has shaken up who does what and who stays home) and anything else you can imagine to create a unique system that is workable, livable and happy for you. No more cookie cutters, no more mom haircuts. At least that's what I like to think. 

Because of this blending, one is constantly pulling for an array of sources for inspiration. No longer looking for archetypes (do I want to be a June Cleaver mom or a Betty Draper mom?), icons and idols of "successful" motherhood can come from all over the place. And given the fact that God gives you ten months to ponder what kind of mom you're going to be (and then a lifetime of abandoning those ideals for reality), I've been thinking a lot about my mom idols of late. Who are the women who really inspire me in their approach to parenting and life? Who has tricks and tips I plan to steal from when our little one arrives on the scene? So I thought I'd take a moment to share them with you (in no particular order). This is by no means a complete list (after all, I admire so many women), but does capture some must-have traits I pray I can emulate. (Also prepare for some of these to be entirely shallow.)

- Tiny Fey. Isn't she everyone's girl crush? I had this Amex print ad of her and her daughter hanging above my desk long before I knew I was expecting a girl of my own. Tina Fey makes my list because she's wicked smart, embraces her inner nerd, seems fabulously comfortable in her own skin (has made a career of playing herself), supports other women ("Bitch is the new black") - and embraces the chaos required to make an ambitious life work. She was once quoted as saying, "being a working mom is about is about thinking ' this is impossible' and then doing it anyway." She's also not afraid to take a self-deprecating approach to her own imperfections as a person and a parent. I'm sure there are people who judged her for saying that she went back to work at NBC three weeks after having Alice because they had her under contract while she and the baby had a verbal agreement. I thought it was funny.

- Kristen Cavallo. I worked for Kristen for two years and in that time learned more by watching her than I did in four years of college. Besides being incredibly smart and talented, she taught me that being an indispensable asset to your company doesn't mean compromising your family. I know few working moms who are as tapped in and involved with their kids as she is. The woman knows about every upcoming test and paper, every aspiration and adventure her kids have. She takes the time to ask them thoughtful questions. She really listens to (and cares about) their answers. She's developed a system (with the help of family of course) that allows her to do both well in a way that few people do. Also, her enthusiasm about her kids - and the way that she respects and cultivates their individual personalities is incredible to me. If I can be half as good a mom as Kristen, my child will be a very lucky girl.

- Katherine Wintsch. Clearly, I've been fortunate in having the opportunity to work for incredible women. I've been on Katherine's team for (approaching) two years now, and last year she had a baby named Layla. I had no idea what motherhood would look like for Katherine. I watched in eager anticipation to see how she made it work. One thing that's important to note about Katherine is that she cares about people more than just about anyone I know. She's a rare hybrid of machine-like productivity and an unmatched warmth. I didn't know how it would be humanly possibly for her to accomplish as much with a baby at home as she did before. Would things grind to a halt? Would Layla come hang out in the office until midnight? Again (like so many women I admire), Katherine did a little shifting and adjusting - came in a little later so the au pair was within her hours, worked from home a few more evenings. And I'm sure it's been impossible, but a year later Katherine is kicking more tail at work with the happiest and healthiest little girl you've ever seen. Like Kristen, she's shown me that you can be an incredibly loving mom and a superstar.

- Kim Wyngaard. Kim is a stay-at-home mom with four kids. She has chaos management down to both art and science. All four of them are spirited and overflowing with joy. You can tell that their worlds are characterized by adventure and love. No small task for Kim (and her husband) to pull off, I assure you. She gives herself to them entirely, is an incredible wife and seems to enjoy all of it. She's that rare person who seems genuinely happy with her choices and (like my other heroes) has customized a system that works well for her and her family without being dogmatic about the way the rest of the world should run. At the same time, she started a business with a friend last year (which is booming), is an incredible friend and is always ready to help the people around her.   

 

I have in mind several other women to write about (including Aubrey Kleinfeld and Patty Wyngaard), but it occurs to me that this is already world's longest post - so I will write about them (and their many virtues) another day. In the mean time, I see some themes emerging in my choices. Clearly I admire women who sleep little, accomplish much, and manage to make 24 hour work like 32. Not that I'm setting myself up for failure or anything...:-) For now I'll say that I'm fortunate to have them as lightposts and examples for the way life can work. I have much to be inspired by.

Babby baggin it is cooler than it seems.

Truly random. It turns out we're a Fleurville family. Upon first "popping" Doug and I visited It's Hip to be Round (www.itshiptoberound.com), a fabulous maternity store in Carytown (www.carytown.org). Brilliantly, they have a "man room" where expectant fathers can escape racks of designer denim with stretchy waists for a bit of solitude, soda and of course, sports. This means less whining (and fewer opinions on the price of those True Religion maternity jeans) from the dad upstairs. Genius.

What's also genius, is their tasteful placement of products for men in their little retreat. T-shirts that say "my boys can swim" and of course the dude diaper bag (referenced in my last post). We have a good friend who dutifully carries his daughter's diaper bag around - one obviously picked by mom - lime green and bright blue with a nice girly print. Doug was a little more resistant to that set up. So imagine his delight to find a cool gray bag with testosterone written all over bottle pouch. It's by Fleurville, who touts "essential designs for modern parenting."

Imagine my surprise, when a few weeks later my good friend Kristen sends me this email: "Go to http://fleurville.com and pick your baby bag. It's a gift from me and KW." Never having perused their non-dude products, I had no idea what was in store. Not only are the bags carried by celebs like Heidi Klum, they're created with environmentally friendly materials, but their super cute printed fabrics resist moisture and UV rays. Super. Anyway, I picked mine out (after a friend advised me that the diaper bag should ideally match the stroller) and it's pictured above.

GET EXCITED!!!!:-)